Today I enter the world of blogging. I never thought this day would come, but certain people seem to think I have something important to say. To kick off this highly anticipated undertaking, I will start from the beginning. June nineteenth, in the year of our lord nineteen hundred and eighty-five, I emerged from the womb. There was needless to say a struggle. I was thought to have forced my twin brother David out first, and to the best of my memory it was because I was tired of sharing such a small, cramped space with only so much placenta to go around. Supposedly I was stuck under the breasts for 10 minutes before they could pry me out, which may also be the cause of a more modern day obsession that I will leave unmentioned. We came as a surprise to Mark and Terri (my mother and father, I will keep this very formal). They were under the impression that we were 1 fat girl, rather than 2 strapping young lads. It wasn't until round 2 of the child birth before Terri was informed of my existence. She may not have been pleased then, but I assure you she is now. Now you might be thinking, "how could they get that wrong?" Well I'd like to believe it has nothing to do with my "endowment," but rather Davids. Between now and that great time were many mashed potato food fights, many trips to the hospital, and some very controversial pillow fights, which include a completely accidental (despite popular belief) bite to Davids groin. Now that we are all caught up on my story, we will now enter the realm of Sasquatches, political figures, and Samuel Benjamin Parr.
Watch out!
I saw this couple at the DMV in Provo the other day. I bet you are thinking "is that Gary Coleman?" Well so was I, but in my mind he lived in some other, far off land with all of the other magical trolls. On the contrary, he lives among us here in Provo Utah. Well I was star struck to say the least. This was the first time I have seen a star in the flesh besides at the sundance film festival. This is probably the most awkward couple I have ever seen. However my recent encounter did answer some questions I have had for many years. I always wondered if I saw Gary Coleman, would I want to hold him like a small child, maybe even cradle him? Yes.
